Know the Signs

Signs of a Potentially Violent Person

  • Is unable to handle frustrations, blows up at little things
  • Is excessively jealous
  • Forces isolation from the opposite sex, family, and friends
  • Has a poor self image and is insecure
  • Blames others for his/her faults
  • Does not accept responsibility for his/her actions
  • Uses alcohol or other drugs, which may lead to violence with others
  • Has a family history of violence and abuse
  • Is cruel to animals
  • Accepts violence as an appropriate way to solve problems
  • Is obsessed with weapons
  • Strongly stresses specific roles of males and females in relationships
  • Treats you like property
  • Cannot express feelings and emotions without violence or abuse
  • Hurts you when joking around by pushing, shoving, or holding you down

Flirting vs. Harassment

Flirting – welcome behavior, a compliment, behavior that is often returned
Harassment – unwelcome behavior, disrespectful, behavior that is often not returned

Eye of the beholder
Looking at harassment from the receiver’s point of view. Regardless of the intent of an individual, it is the receiver’s perspective that defines the action.

Harassment scenarios

It’s About Power and Control

Emotional/Verbal

  • Criticism
  • Name calling
  • Put downs
  • Mind games
  • Humiliation
  • Silent treatment
  • Spreading rumors
  • Damaging property

Forced Intimacy (Sexual)

  • Manipulation
  • Guilt trips
  • Threats
  • Unwanted touching
  • Treating like an object

Financial

  • Preventing partner from getting job
  • Keeping partner on an allowance
  • Taking partner’s money
  • Expecting partner to always pay
  • Using someone for their money

Gender (Sexism)

  • Believing you should have more privileges because of your gender
  • Having strong beliefs about how males/females should be
  • Believing you should make all the decisions because of your gender

Using the Children

  • Threatening to take away children
  • Threatening to not allow contact with the children
  • Hurting or threatening to hurt the children
  • Telling the children negative things about your partner

Denying, Minimizing, Blaming

  • Denying the abuse occurred
  • Saying the abuse was not that serious
  • Saying your partner “brought on” the abuse by saying or doing something
  • Not taking responsibility for one’s behavior

Isolation and Extreme Jealousy

  • Controlling who your partner is friends with
  • Controlling where your partner goes
  • Not letting partner work or be involved in own activities
  • Keeping constant tabs on your partner via cell
  • Accusing partner of cheating without reason

Intimidation and Threats

  • Using looks, actions, gestures or voice to scare your partner
  • Throwing/smashing things
  • Showing weapons
  • Destroying proerty, punching walls
  • “Play” fighting
  • Threatening to commit suicide